Member-only story
The Death of Vanilla Sex (and Other Modern Tragedies)
A sad tale of choking and craving a damn hug
Gen-Z girls on TikTok are saying it loud:
“My boyfriend only wants rough sex.”
“He has a porn addiction.”
“He thinks choking is foreplay.”
And it’s not just TikTok. Nor Gen-Z.
My own female friends — 20-somethings, 40-somethings — all say the same thing:
“Men don’t want to make love anymore. They want to act out porn scenes.”
These days, saying you just want normal sex feels like admitting you enjoy missionary… Eye to eye, lost in love… for the connection.
Gross.
The way we used to touch
I was a teenager in the eighties. And I learned sex the old way: on the back seats of their cars, in a friend’s bedroom, in the nightclub bathrooms.
It was clumsy. It was messy. It was sometimes so disappointing. But it was enough.
Our bodies were enough.
Our curiosity was enough.
Enough to make us feel something. Enough to feel close.
We didn’t have perfectly waxed pubes or perfect techniques, and no one cared.
